Ytd went to Chinatown to celebrate 大姨 60th birthday..Something happen before going to the restaurant..shall nt elaborate much..always the same thing again and again..i just don understand why she likes to pick on me..don like me so much then throw me away la..everytime put high expectation on me for my studies..nv once eu compliment me instead still ask for more..Yea i stupid i noe..since she so clever then eu put all eur attention on her la..i don even feel the feelings tt we had last time..her result nv improve yet eu compliment so much..yea la..since young always must 让 her just becos shes the youngest..everything she do right or wrong nag nag can liaox.. me lerhs..abit oso scold..say i nv teach her in her studies..always help friends own ppl oso don help..the prob is how much do eu noe..how much effort i put in eu oso nv see..all eu do is nag at me..nv once appreciate wat have i done..say oso bluff one..
Everytime go out with other ppl always must find prob wit me..in the end say is my fault..say i malu eu..then don ask me out la..ask her out can liaox..why bother so much..i don wan go out then eu say go out wit friends more important than family la..then wat eu wan me to do??Wat i do oso don suit eu..say i very boring..tts my personality wat..as if i always have the mood to laugh and smile...Ya i ugly she pretty..i didnt disagree..then don ask me wear nice clothes la..a ugly person no matter wear wat oso will be ugly wat..so why bother so much since i go ouut wit eu so malu..don ask me out la..ask me out still scold..go out wit eu kana scolding don go out wit eu oso kana scolding..i have enough of it..
ytd tell me say she need more attention cos she need long story to understand something..i sec 1 nv see eu put so much attention to me..she since young eu keep pampering her..scold oso abit nia..i tell eu how i feel u keep saying i compare..i didnt compare..i just felt tt i'm being left out in this family..since young nv see eu concern so much abt my studies..say i can study myself..she lerhs..everytime oso teach her study..she oso nv appreciate..keep throwing tantrum..she cnt study herself?..wats the diff??..Watever..wat i say nw to eu oso no use..eu will just think tt i am being petty and comparing..all eu wan from me is my academic..since is like tt ..y nt eu built a robot?I daydream eu say is my habit..no one is perfect wat..i still need to time to adapt moreover exam period i spend so much time studying..nt tired i really robot liaox..who nv day dream b4 eu tell me la..Everytime do coursework until midnight after coursework exam liaox..for 3 wks straight..don even have a break..yet at home instead of words of encouragement..eu add on stress keep saying study harder..Haiish..forget it..nobody understands me..no matter how close they claim they are to me..they don understand anything abt me..i can comfirm if i ask them a simple qn of wat person they think i am..none could give a correct ans or an ans tt is close to my ans..=(
Does even a single soul in this universe understand me??..
